10 Self-Development Tips

10 Self-Development Tips

What is Personal Development?

Personal Development is the process that we take to better ourselves. In Fact, Abraham Maslow defined our needs in a hierarchy; beginning with Physiological needs, need for Safety, need for Love/Belonging, need for Self Esteem, and the need for Self-Actualization (at the top). However, these needs can shift and change as we move from phase to phase in our life.

Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Human Needs

  The hierarchy of human needs drive our motivation, or should anyway. And our need for self-development usually takes place in Self-Actualization. Usually, this phase is where you find individuals who want to evolve further. While there are many ways to begin this process, over the years I have come to place 10 essential steps that almost all people need to find self-actualization.

Love for Self-Development

I have always had a love for self-development; by nature, I am a natural seeker. So my childhood was full of curiosity and searching. As a result, my love for Self-Development began. In fact, the Bible was the first book where I tried to figure out the meaning of life, then curiously went to Wicca (quite a leap), and from there, spirituality. In spirituality, I sought to answer my own self-developmental needs. But, it took hundreds of books and the inclusion of science to finally be satisfied with my definition of LIFE.  In brief, I can say I am content with my findings of what life is all about (but that story is for another time). Before I begin, let me assure you that my Self-Actualization might be different than yours. I wanted to find the meaning of life and spirituality, and perhaps write a book and travel. But you might want fame or a satisfying job, or maybe to find your greatest calling. With this in mind, let’s begin, below are the 10 tips for Self-Development that I think are most important to help anyone begin self-development threw self-actualization. So get a piece of paper and pencil and begin your next level of self-discovery.

1. Do A life Audit

  • Write down the thing that continues to make you unhappy. What mistakes are you making and feel bad about?
  • Write down where you envisioned yourself by now. Do you own your own your own home? Live an amazing life? What about a dream Job?
  • How do you feel about yourself? What is holding you back from reaching those goals/dreams?

2. Begin Your Research

  • Begin with your inner demons. The real cause of your dissatisfaction is most times internalized fears, this can hold you back.
  • Start a meditation regime, meditation creates a calm brain. You need to quiet your mind so that you can begin to see a clear life plan.
  • Start a gratitude journal. Gratitude has a tendency to override the negative self-talk, which can kill any goal or progressive thought process.
  • Do you have the knowledge base to begin your goals? What else can you do? What books should you read?
Here are a couple resources: 14 Ways Meditation Changes You. 6 Steps To Help You Create Habits.

3. Develop a Personal Vision

  • Begin by creating a plan as to where you see yourself in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, and finally 20 years.
  • Breakdown your 1 year into goals. What do you need to do first from year one? Next week? One month? Six Months? And last, what needs to happen at the end of the year?
  • Write those goals in your schedule. “Written goals are dreams in action” -Annon

4. Consistency is a must

A known truth on self-development is “you must do that which you want to change or grow, EVERY DAY”. This rule was the hardest for me. I would begin strong and slowly run out of steam. Over and over I would make that same stop and go motion with my goals. No wonder I wasn’t getting anywhere. But with each time I begin, that habit or goal got easier to stick to. Some of the good patterns of the habit would stick longer and longer, finally, I created a permanent change. Imagine the change you can achieve if you dedicated your life now to a little work each day.

5. Be Accountable.

You are responsible for your own push. Progress can only happen if you place yourself where you need to be. Motivation is also a habit, and the more you practice this habit the easier it gets. But take note, it’s a habit that takes so much effort in the middle and end. It’s easy to keep motivated in the beginning but you have to implement tricks to get you past that hard part, day after day. I look at it as a mantra that can be cultivated every morning. Watch motivational videos or listen to motivational music to get going. I find once I push a little I can keep going and eventually get into a productive rhythm.

6. Watch Those Emotions.

Emotions are the vibrational force that can either attract what you want or repel it (depending if the emotion is positive or negative). You have to keep an eye out for those quiet moments when you are judging, discouraging, or not feeling your goals. Learn to push those emotions out-of-the-way. Replace them with good moods, this will only happen with some practice. (Want to learn how to become more emotionally aware? Check out my Emotional Exercises to help your emotional regulation.)

7. Bring Gratefulness Back In Your Life.

Joy will always make your life happier, and a happier life improves how we see our circumstances. Gratefulness is a vibration that attracts more of what you want in life. So incorporate a daily habit of feeling grateful for what you have, and what you want will begin to gravitate towards you. Really! This is not a new age phenomenon; it’s been proven by science.

8. Surround Yourself with People You Aspire to Be Like.

Again this is a vibrational pull. It seems that being surrounded by those that you look up can help raise your own success rate. Besides being around motivated people turns your own motivation on.

9. Stay Honest in Your process

Don’t forget to periodically re-assess your goals. Are those goals still what you want? Have you changed? Have your views changed? You will find that after you begin your self-development, things that you thought where important may change or transform into new or different priorities. Stay fluid and go with the curves that life throws at you, you will find that new direction might be where you actually needed to go.

10. Enjoy Your Process.

Last, don’t forget, the end game is amazing but enjoy the process. Life is a journey and we need to love every part of it. Including the part, we have under construction. Therefore, take time for you and your family, and make NOW a priority because this is where you make memories. You don’t want to get to your destination alone; sharing this life is what makes it even better.


I leave you with the last note on why success can happen to anyone. Without a doubt, these are not some random ideas. These are the truths that ALL self-development gurus and life coaches come to realize, are the essential parts for creating the life you want. I looked at book after book that basically highlighted this same principle. But it took me till damn near 40 years of age to finally accept them as actual STEPS that I had to take. You see, it was not easy for any overachiever; they persevered and hung on till they pushed through. One of the best books I have ever read was a book on how our brains function. Our brains are pliable, mold-able pieces of play dough that we can shape into any pattern we want, we only have to re-wire it with a habit. In summary, everyone has this capacity for change, you just have to get up and get moving forward. I am not special, I don’t have superpowers, but I get up every morning and work on my goals. Note: Special thank you to my Editor, Agapita Drum.
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A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

Lucia Stakkestad

A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

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