How to Believe You Are Independent, And Drop The Victim Mentality, Like Kamala Harris!

Believing You Are Independent

How to believe you are independent and drop the victim mentality, like Kamala harris! Seriously the current vice-president exudes such confidence and poise. 

What makes such females so powerful looking and yet relatable? I believe it’s something simple. Something some of us have not gotten down. I believe her secret is compassion for herself. 

Her upbringing was incredibly uneventful, except for her mother and father divorcing when she was seven. Divorce happens often, and it is traumatic for most, but it appears that Kamala was guided well by her mother and continued to see and spend time with her father.

People of Color Can Be Successful

She learned from an early age that people of color could be successful, so she did not have to fight some extreme diversity. Yes, she got plenty of inferior snubs and the typical trauma that we people of color get. But no extreme poverty or lack of love. 

Someone in her life gave her the confidence she needed and enough love to push and believe in herself. Her career and drive are smooth and courageous. 

She’s held such high-ranking jobs as Attorney General of California, Senator of California, and now Vice President of the United States. She seemed to flow from opportunity to opportunity at just the right speed.

Her Brain Is Wired For Success

This is not happenstance; she created her reality. Her brain is wired to succeed. But how can one woman be so agile in her career while others seem to get stuck in a rut and lack self-growth?

I believe a few elements are at play, and successful people tend to act and believe in key behaviors. But those behaviors are not easily implemented by others. And the reason might be simple belief. Believe in your own ability and worthiness.

Trauma can wreak havoc on your ability to function fully and create your dream realities. Healing it is a must. One of the ways to do that is to rewire your brain to a different inner-dialogue.

To learn to be as confident as Kamala Harris, you have to believe what she believes about herself. That you are capable of good things, that you are amazing, that you are worthy of dreaming and achieving your goals.

The Cause of Self-Judgement

The way you speak to yourself in your own head is the cause of self-judgment. Self-judgement is self-hate. How can you love yourself when you are criticizing your own inner being?

But that is easier said than done. The way to make this believable is to use affirmations. Affirmations help rewire your inner-logue of shame. The more you repeat positive self-talk, the more you reach your subconscious.

You see, your subconscious is that deep-level storage system, the system that held on to beliefs and then decided to ride that belief-road the rest of the way.

It’s time you got of that road and replaced those negative core beliefs. 

How To Believe You Are Independent

One: Remove Your Old Trauma

Removing old trauma can take a while to work, slow down and be kind. You were not built in a day, nor can you be re-wired in a day. 

Use Meditation, mindfulness, emotional regulation, and hemi-sync therapy to heal your trauma at the core. Read more here on the methods and stages of trauma work

To heal trauma, you have to stay grounded; then healing can commence; after healing comes the re-build⎯⎯where a new you begins to take form.

Two: Stop Judging Everything You Do

Judging is at the core of self-hate; self-criticism can harm self-love. Finding your true self is never about finding who you are. Who you are is there⎯⎯⎯ has always been there. 

Practice self-compassion to improve self-love. You would be surprised how many negative thoughts we have per day. No wonder we continue the cycle of destroying our dreams. 

But if you began to forgive your transgressions one after another, the minute you make them, you will see a huge improvement in self-worth. 

Forgiving your behaviors, your snappy comments, and maybe the way you treat yourself is hard, but all it takes is one time to see it can be done. Pick one thing you have done wrong today or yesterday that is living rent-free in your head. Then forgive yourself for it, say to yourself, I am sorry, and I forgive myself for doing that. Afterward, you need to push it out of your head, it’s been dealt with, and you no longer need to revisit it. 

All it takes is one episode of forgiveness to know it can be done. Then do it again, and then again. You will see momentum being built because you will know that it can be done. 

Three: Fill Your Cup With Strong Role Models

You don’t have to physically know a powerful woman. Find role models online, or read about them. Change what you surround yourself with. “Hang out with Strong Ass Woman.” 

Begin by reading a book or watching shows with strong woman characters. Feel the power they have; repeat to yourself that you have it. Practice seeing the qualities they have in yourself. 

One great indicator of what you lack is to see who you envy. Use envy to clue you into what things you wish you had or what qualities you are lacking. But instead of coveting, you will replace it with images of you already having those things or qualities.

Compliment the strong woman you admire. When you allow for others’ success, you are making it clear to your subconscious that those things can be yours too. The action of allowing removes belief blocks that you are not worthy of. 


I believe you have the capacity to create a better version of yourself. Do you want to know what makes me so darn sure? You are here; you have already decided to seek out something beneficial for you. It’s not happenstance, you created the need for change, and the thought led you here.

Creation is in your ballpark. It’s all you. You think the idea, you then set forward a cascade of events that bring about your reality.

Kamala Harris might have had a great role model in her mother and father, but you have a great role model in yourself. To believe you are independent and not a victim like Kamala Harris, you have to rewire your brain with a new story of success and repeat that story till every cell in your body believes it too.

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A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

Lucia Stakkestad

A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

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