How To Get The Most Out Of Self-Help

Getting The Most Out Of Self-Help

Self-Help is never a waste of your time or money. And I am not hitting this point of view solely because it’s my area of expertise. I say this because even if you change one small aspect of yourself. You have done more good for the rest of your fellow man than they will ever realize.

When you help the greater good, you help yourself. There is no them or us. One source of energy you are trying to improve. This perspective never changes no matter what religion you are or even if you practice no religion. Energy is energy. And an actualized human (a human with self-awareness, no anxiety, and lust for life) is a human who gives more back than a hundred lost-helpful souls. When you work on you, when you expand your awareness through self-actualization, you become who you where meant to be. And that is why you need to get the most out of your self-help journey.

Now let’s get back to the reason for my post. I am writing this to help you get over that hesitation you have over being here, or over picking up that self-help book. Self-Improvement is never a waste of your time. Everything new you attempt to change, that small spec of improvement is better than no improvement. Even if you fail miserably, you still fail forward. So don’t stop your Inner Work, pick an interesting topic, and begin there. To help you get the most of your next self-help book, reading, or class, I have listed a few helpful tips on How to Get the Most Out Of Self development. 

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Eleven Tips to Get the Most Out Of Self-Help

One: Understand What You Need

What do you need at this current moment? What problem are you facing and you need help? Start from this point and look for books in the category that you most need help with. It might not be a hard life question. In most instances, it’s something simple. For example, how to keep your purse organized.

Two: Find Books or Resources That Speak Your Language

The way a piece of information speaks to you is critical in whether or not it will keep your attention. If something is tedious or too difficult a read, you will find ways to avoid it. To get the most out of self-help you need to find what turns you on.

Three: Find a Way to Consume the Information

Sometimes reading a book is out of the question. Especially if you have kids or work full time…basically modern-day life. You can either pick small blips of information from YouTube, blogs, but my most significant aid in getting around to finishing a self-help book has been a spoken book. Audible has been my lifesaver with continued self-development growth. Without it, I would have still been trying to read the same book from 10 years ago. 

Four: Take Time to Process the Self-Help

Take the time to ponder the information given in your self-help studies. If the information seems foreign to you, take the time to let it sink in. Maybe go over it with someone you trust and have them give you their take on it. 

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Five: Not Everything Makes Sense the First Time Around

I don’t know how many times I have read or listened to a bit of self-help information only to be disappointed that it didn’t answer my question or that it did not enlighten me. But then two months later, I would find myself coming across the same information and hitting an aha moment. Information will make sense to you at the right time. Be okay with that.

Stop yourself from making the information wrong or right. Many times I have read a book and held it as “outdated information”. Later I realized it was I who was missing the gem of information because I was not ready to hear and understand its truth. Know that it’s not what you need right now and put it away for another time. Patience is a great teacher, one that helps get the most out of self-help. 

Six: You Can Begin Anywhere

Self-Development is excellent for learning and practicing in small segments everywhere you are. It is ALL about you, and it’s a practice that requires insertion into every aspect of life. You can begin anywhere and not miss a beat.

Heck, you can keep a puzzle book in the bathroom and work on your memory every time you go. I keep a current audiobook in my car and when I drive to appointments. I listen to it. I can finish a book in a month at my level of driving. If you have a long commute, you might finish two. 

Seven: Change for the Right Reason

You cannot change for others. Others cannot change for you. When you seek change for the wrong reasons, you are sure to fail. Growth has to come from an inner push or pull towards self-actualization. Actualization has all to do with waking up to what is real. It can wake you up to what are lies you tell yourself to make life bearable. Stop and ask yourself, why am I wanted to change this about me? Is it for me, or does someone find it unpleasant? 

Eight: Practice What You Learn

Nothing can change if you don’t keep practicing what you need to change. An action only becomes a habit after many repetitions. You are trying to rewire your brain to do something different. But information can’t stick if you don’t practice it. Excuses will find you, commit to better yourself.

If you want to read more on how habits and how they form check out my post on habits. 6 Powerful Steps to Help You Create Habits.

Nine: Watch Your Self-Talk

One of the biggest obstacles in my self-development progress has been a hidden habit I did not even realize was a hindrance. Inner self-talk. I did not know its sabotaging extent until I stopped and listened to the way I quietly spoke to myself in the back of my thoughts. 

Listen to the way you speak and encourage or discourage yourself. It’s subtle, it’s quiet, and it’s often the most significant cause of our STOP in self-growth. Self-talk can kill any self-development growth you wish to attain. Listen to the way you speak in the background of your mind. 

Once I became aware that I was saying things like “you can never do this,” “you have always started, but you can’t finish this,” or “other people deserve this, but you are too lazy and won’t get there.” I jumped right in and began to practice self-affirmations. I practiced listening to the way my background voice was making me feel. And using it as a clue to what I was believing about myself. 

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Ten: Use Affirmations For Growth

Use Affirmations Daily. Every second of Your Day. Especially to help you overcome obstacles in self-development goals. Affirmations are a hidden gem. High achievers use them all the time, they are essential to getting the most out of Self-Help . Incorporate them daily and as often as possible. Do not stop using affirmations just because you think they don’t work. I promise you they do. Keep using them. 

My suggestion is to end your night with a gentle affirmation audio. You can find many on YouTube, just set your phone a few feet away and turn the affirmation audio on. Affirmation audios are often one to eight hours. I did not feel their effect right away, it took me about a good month before I realized I would walk around repeating things like, “I am good,” “I succeed at everything I try,” “I try things, and I don’t give up.” 

Eleven: Surround Yourself with People with a Growth Mindset

It’s way harder to change when no one around you tries. Even if you come from a household that doesn’t SEE you or cares if you well, try to change. You can find little pockets of humans with the same need for self-development. Look for them. It might surprise you where you can find people who love to work on themselves. 

One of the best places for small local groups is the library. You can even create your own group where you live. If all else fails, check online for communities that encourage change. Some Facebook groups centered on self-development. Just don’t stop seeking inner awareness and growth. 


Spending your time attempting to improve yourself is never a waste of time. Any improvement you make is beneficial and one step closer to a better life for you and those around you. 

There is no higher calling than the need for inner change. When you work on your misgiving and issues, you are helping the world at the root. I see many people out volunteering and being humanitarians when their internal environment and home is falling to pieces. Do you want to make the most significant difference and change? Begin with you. Begin at home. 

One of the beautiful parts of self-help is how it’s an individual journey. My journey and your journey looks different. What you need to learn in what capacity, and to what level of involvement entirely up to you. Don’t worry too much about doing it the right way; there is no right way, just the right reason.

The above suggestions I give you are the same steps I took to develop to get the most out of self-help. It was a long road of trial and error, and I hope you give yourself a break and go directly to changing without fear or hesitation. 

Your turn:


Without even missing a beat, you have embarked on your self-development journey. You are here and you are reading this. You have begun. 

What is your number one self-development concern? 

What do you believe about yourself? Really dig into that background voice and hear what it says.

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A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

Lucia Stakkestad

A former nurse and life long self-help learner, I have a passion for teaching the fundamentals of life. I never stop learning, but most of all I never stop being okay with being taught. I am a mom, a wife, and an awakened soul. Welcome! You are never lost, you are just on a quest.

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